Dear PFLAG Supporter,

How are you feeling? How is your chapter doing? We may not be sharing a physical space right now to hear your answers, but we know our answers are likely similar—exhausted, sad, frustrated, angry, frightened. Some folks have reached out with questions and concerns, mostly variations on, “What’s next? What do we do? And how do we do it?”

Collectively, we won’t have all the answers on what’s to come, but we’re taking solace in knowing that whatever comes next, we’ll be doing it together as one, strongly united PFLAG. Some of you have already reached out to us about what your chapters are doing in response to the election; it’s incredible. While it may feel small, the work you all do makes an impact on your communities, on your families, on all of us at PFLAG National, and on each other.

As you all know, the Chapter & Communities Engagement team doesn’t go anywhere without a folder full of resources, and while we might not have all the answers, we’re hoping that some of the resources below can support you all as you navigate what’s next.

First, let’s talk about taking care of yourselves and your families. We want to uplift two resources shared in the last week: Safety Planning for PFLAG Chapter Members and Taking a Step Back: Prioritizing Self Care as a PFLAG Chapter Leader. Take a look at these if you or your chapter members have questions, concerns, or feelings to explore. We also want to highlight our National Support Hotlines, which offers a host of organizations to look to for support.

Second, we know the discriminatory, violent, and politically fueled rhetoric from campaign ads and rallies may have caused you, your families, and your LGBTQ+ loved ones—especially those who are trans or nonbinary—to feel like the vast majority of the country opposes us. We want to remind you of some important data points about this country, and please remember them as you move forward in this work:

• More than three-quarters of Americans support policies that protect LGBTQ Americans from discrimination in housing, employment, and public accommodation (PRRI, “Views on LGBTQ Rights in All 50 States: Findings from PRRI’s 2023 American Values Atlas” March 12, 2024)
• Nearly two-thirds of Americans strongly feel that transgender people should be protected from discrimination—and a further 25% of people don’t oppose it. (Pew Research Center, “Americans’ Complex Views on Gender Identity and Transgender Issues” June 28, 2022)

Lastly, it’s never easy feeling personally vulnerable, for example, when seeking understanding from family or community members whose values feel scary or are dangerous. PFLAGers have always been at the forefront of meeting people where they are, leaning into challenging conversations, and being strong, visible activists in their communities. That said, it’s important to know that it’s okay to NOT have those conversations, especially when feeling unsafe or vulnerable. It is okay—crucial—to center your own well being in this moment. There are days and weeks and months ahead with more work to come—including resources we’ll be sending in order to have those hard holiday conversations. Know when to say when. 

Nobody knows what comes next, and that’s okay. Right now it’s important to care for yourself, for one another, to be kind, and to center safety and community care.

Further Election Response: Urban Think Tank Alert!

December’s Urban Think Tank will be focused on self care following the election and as we prepare for the upcoming legislative session. We know that PFLAG chapter leadership, especially when serving a large urban community, is a lot of work, particularly as PFLAG board members make space for their own politics-related emotions while providing support to their members.

Register now to participate in this facilitated peer discussion space for urban chapter leaders on Thursday, December 12th at 5pm PT/8pm ET!

Regional Resilience Roundup

What is there to say, right? I feel like in the Midwest, I’m experiencing a replay of a story told again and again. I’m thinking a lot about 2011 in Wisconsin, when my mom had her own Jeanne Manford moment and brought me out to protest Act 10 and the repeal of collective bargaining rights. When we eventually lost that fight, it was my mom who had the answer to my feelings of dejection and loss. She suggested we turn off the TV, spend time together, and get to work. Last week after the election, I logged off of all my social media, made a casserole (seriously), and got to work. I’ve been hearing from you all about emergency meetings, opening shared spaces, starting community choirs, game nights, etc. I’ve had folks reach out about the mundane, like getting started on their chapter websites because they just have to do something. It turns out that my mom was right (as moms usually are). She knew that once we start doing things together, the pain of the loss is shared and it’s easier to see the path forward. That’s what I see you all doing right now. Thank you to you all for the work you do; not because it’s inspiring, but because it reminds me that our movement is bigger than one election. As always, reach out to me when you need support, have questions, or need a reminder that you’re not doing this work in a vacuum. I can’t promise a casserole, but I’ll do my best—it’s all we can do.

Stay safe,

Ruadhan Ward (They / Them)

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